Friday, January 29, 2010

Day Six and Seven.

Day 6 and 7.

You’re at the grocery store and the guy that you have been crushing on is there, he approaches you and starts a quick conversation, this leaves you with a rush of butterflies that take over your stomach. Eventually you and Mr. Wonderful get into a relationship and every time he calls you or sends you a text those butterflies seem to come back. After some time, you seem to lose those butterflies, yes you think you love him but that rush seemed to fade and this leaves you wondering if you should break up with him or not. It’s sad to think that we base our relationships on the feeling of butterflies for the most part butterflies are misread and all this feeling is, is anxiety. In relationships it is as if we need anxiety to make the affair last, so when destroying a man make him anxious. Don’t text him back right away, you will see double texts and maybe even the annoying call just send them a text the next day and say you were too busy to respond. When he asks you what you did last night respond with very little information and let his imagination do the rest, yes will make him nearly have an anxiety attack. When John asked me to go out with him for a second time I said I had plans with someone, that’s all I said, I received non stopped texts all evening as if he was really concerned that I had found yet another douche bag to destroy. A man will fall in love with you quicker and easier if you keep them on their toes, it’s not hard just keep ignoring them and show little interest (remember you are being a douche baguette!)
A good friend of mine recently broke up with her boyfriend because like most douche lords, he didn’t give her enough attention and cared about other things, eventually she gave up and left him. Every time he calls her, she now ignores him. He has been nonstop begging her to get back with him, she of course says she doesn’t care about him and this seems to make him want her so much more. All the time that he didn’t have for her before is now getting spent with him blowing up her phone and facebook stalking her. He is mistaking his anxiety for love and letting that false rush from not getting what he wants; drive him crazy as if he is madly in love. So when destroying a man and trying to get them to fall for you, remember that anxiety and love is easily mistaken, so make sure you keep those butterflies flying!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Day Five.

Day 5.
For many years we have heard the old stories of the woman who needed a knight and shining armor, now as much as independence is a wonderful thing there is a time to be the “damsel in distress.” Being an independent woman is very vital in getting a relationship going, you don’t need him, you can live without him, but uh oh your car won’t start. This is where he will be like a hero, much like Superman or any of his childhood fantasies and you are his Lois Lane. Lois Lane was a very independent woman, a reporter, eventually a mother and a girl who always seemed to fall into a helpless situation. Superman always came to her rescue and they lived happily ever after, well until the next comic book. Men although they love the independent woman, need their masculinity proved from time to time by helping out a girl. This will make them feel closer to you, not only physically but they will feel as if you have an unspoken bond that will always make you think of them as the “good guy” even after they royally screw up. Although I am writing this in day five, it is to prepare you to play the damsel in distress nearing the big destruction moment, he will believe that he has you wrapped around his finger and you will always owe him and never break up with him. This of course will end up untrue, and less than ten days after he helps you out, you will crush him. Now it seems a little harsh to say that after someone helps you that you can crush them, but this is their game to. They will treat you well until they get the gold pot at the end of “your rainbow”. The best way to see if someone is a douche bag versus a nice super hero like guy is by asking girls, yes their buddies will without a doubt stick up for them, but we as women will not and should not lie to each other. So Lois Lanes of this world there is a time and place for being the damsel in distress, yes you are independent doing your own thing but in reality men need to be Superman from time to time. Never let this be routine, never be clingy, but it is okay to let a man save you from Lex Luthor when needed. It is great and highly wanted to be independent, it is okay to ask for help, but too much of either of these will end up being his kryptonite.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Day Four.

Day 4:
A douche bag comes in many shapes and sizes, yes they usually come with Affliction shirts and steroid induced muscles. On occasion, however they may appear completely normal; one of my good friends recently introduced me to a guy who seemed like a down to earth human being. It didn’t take long though for his true douche bag colors to shine through, a girl would call, he would laugh and make fun of her, a woman would pass by wearing a low cut shirt in which crude comments soon followed. It then hit me; men can either be good or bad regardless how they may appear on the outside, a beefed up guy could be harmless and a computer geek could be a complete jerk. There are many levels, to being a douche bag, the nerdy douche bag will make fun of the way a woman looks and will make comments that are meant to harass the intelligence of a female. A beefed douche bag will not say someone is ugly, oh no, if they don’t think you are very cute they will ignore you completely without any word. So when hurting a douche bag it is important to pick the kind of douche bag you want to destroy, a nerdy douche bag will be a little more difficult oddly enough. They put up a fake guard to protect their non blessed physical attributes; you must have a thick skin. They will call you names much like when a kindergarten boy has a school yard crush, unfortunately these guys never “socially grew up” so yes they are still stuck in kindergarten. With a beefed up douche bag, you will have to use your looks to your advantage, you have to be his fantasy but to keep him around you must be a tease. John is defiantly a beefed up douche bag so running around in low cut shirts and perfectly put on eyeliner works just fine. Both douche bag categories have different ways of winning their eye, the nerdy douche bag will find that porn star like women are the most beautiful, this was brought on by their un action packed years in front of the computer. These type of douche bags will never approach a victim first they will wait until they are approached then of course will make fun of your intelligence. The beefed douche bag prefers woman who are pretty but never prettier than them, this is because they always want to feel secure in the relationship, they believe if you are too pretty then you might cheat. Don’t get me wrong a beefed douche bag always has a pretty girl, this is to show off to friends, but they want to feel like the “hotter” one in the relationship, so that if you break up with them then they know it wasn’t because they were “ugly.” These guys WILL approach you first and they will always make the first move, they know that they have swagger and they will defiantly show it off. These types of douche bags will go through relationships quickly, a month to three months is usually their limit unlike the nerdy ones who never actually get into a relationship and if they do they will usually keep the abuse going for a while. So ladies pick your douche bag but beware it is much like picking your poison, they both will try to suck out the life that is you from you.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Day Three.

Day 3.
Once upon a time in a not so far away place there lived a girl. This girl fell tragically in love with a man who knew exactly what he wanted in life, he knew exactly what he wanted to do after college, what city he would end up in, and eventually the type of woman he was going to marry. This girl knew what she wanted as well, however after a year into the relationship, she lost a little of her soul; her dream of fashion fell into her closet amongst her Juicy Couture dresses and her never ending collection of shoes. She had once inspired to live in a big city and dreamed of having her own company, this man eventually moved on with his life, leaving her behind with nothing more than a fragment of a once loved dream. It was obvious that he had loved her at one time, but once she lost her dream she seemed to have lost him as well. Why did this happen? It is time to get into detail about being an independent woman, in this day and age it is not only looked favorably upon but almost expected for women to be able to strut in stiletto’s and buy them to. It is quite obvious that men are falling in love with independent women every day, with songs and movies, this idea has become a staple of life and love. When destroying a man this is very important to show that you are independent, you don’t care about his fancy car or wealthy family, you don’t care that he can take care of you because you can do that all on your own. Men are finding this very sexy and are drawn to it like a moth to the flame, and you have become a very hot flame. As said before, when Mr. Douche Bag asks you on that date say yes then ditch him last minute, it is your time to shine letting him know exactly where you want to meet and what time, leave the movie up to him, you don’t want to look like a psycho chick! Also this will be another test to see what level of douche bag he is…
Level 1: He will say uhhh I don’t know
Level 2: He will pick a horror film
Level 3: He will pick that icky action flick that you know you would most defiantly not watch ( he believes no matter what he does, you will think he is awesome)
Now unless you mentioned that you actually enjoy any of the above, yes he is a douche bag. See when John asked me out after I said yes, I called him one hour before meeting time and told him that I had to go pick a friend up at the airport, excuses will become your best friend. Now ladies time for some destroying! Stay independent! Never make someone your whole world because your world can easily fall apart. When it comes to men, remember there are so many out there, they can be tossed away like last year Balenciaga bag or all the old worn out gladiator sandals that won’t be brought out unless necessary!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Day Two.

Day Two.
There is a Jewish proverb that states: “Loneliness breaks the spirit.” During an ice breaker game in my overly opinionated public speaking class the question was “what is your fear”? Being one of the first to answer, telling my ever present fear of my two shoe racks getting stolen it didn’t take long for the rest of the class to answer the question. To my amazement many beautiful, young, intelligent women answered with a quiet reply… “Being alone for the rest of my life.”
Why was this a fear at a young age? Walking the short distance to my car, I kept hearing the always annoying complaints from young women about boyfriends that are cheating, lying, blah blah blah. I always thought that douche bag guys, like John, were made from their own ego, however I am beginning to realize that us as women (not all women of course!) Are so afraid of being alone that we will stick with guys that use and abuse us. It is a sad situation that beautiful young women all over are being mistreated and disrespected yet never will do anything about it; one of my very best girlfriends has been in a relationship with a man for years that she doesn’t even like. He calls her names, doesn’t show any respect, and above all else they aren’t really in love. Time after time I have heard her say that this was the day she would finally break up with him, however that day has yet to come. She enjoys the idea of her boyfriend and the relationship that comes with it, she feels secure that she is not alone, and in an odd way this makes her feel complete.
Maybe when destroying a man, we have to show that we can live without them, that we are young and very independent women. On the first date it is important that you pick the place, that you don’t let them pick you up, but meet them there. When John texted me I didn’t agree to go out with him right away, actually I ditched him on the first date and then called to tell him where to meet me and the time… but remember to be at least ten minutes late.
Ladies don’t be afraid to be alone, don’t let this loneliness break your spirit, in the end you will be the one who finds a wonderful man and will be in true love with him. Whatever happens remember love yourself first and then it will be easy for someone to love you.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Day One.

*This blog is about no one person in particular. If people were not blog blockers this is how the story might have happened. John will be the name of the man I am destroying, note that John is no more than a composite of different men that I have come across in my life. This blog is just a writing exercise; I realize that I may not be the most fantastic writer; however this is my way of passing time and heartache. I realize that I am young, I am still searching for myself and have yet to completely understand what love truly is, so bear with me in my journey of growth If you choose to follow, thank you. If you are not interested… why are you reading this?

Day One:
From the moment I met John I knew he was the one. The one man I would spend the next thirty days destroying. Behind John’s perfect brown hair, warm tan, and strong body there lived a monster, a monster that as Lady Gaga once described “ate hearts” for fun. He was your typical “douche bag” never wanting a relationship but always wanting the “perks” that came with one, he is the type of man that never calls you back but for whatever reasons keeps you thinking of him constantly. By the end of the short relationship you are left with nothing more than a broken heart.
John is with the rising number of douche bag guys that have hit our society hard. He thinks that he is cool and no person or girl could ever break him. I have had my fair share of douche bag guys that have come and gone throughout my life, the no commitment guys, the men that make you feel worthless, and the guys that make anything they do sound “amazing”. Now men are not all douche bags, as women are not all bitches. I have also seen in my life how much a man can truly love with everything they have; this blog however, is not targeted towards these wonderful guys. This is targeted to the men that harbor hate and mistreat woman all over the world. I have fortunately taken notes on all the diabolic ways that men use and abuse woman and have come up with a plan. Maybe it is time for woman to play douche-baguettes and for a real douche bag to feel the pain that women time after time have to endure. All my relationship life I have been the girlfriend that went above and beyond for my man, the meaner they were to me the nicer and more caring I was to them. I realize that this was stupid of me, that I should have remained constant throughout the relationship and at the first sight of trouble should have broken up with them. This is a test to see if people love the rush of being mistreated, that somehow we are all looking for a little abuse and how we should stop this mentality. It is never okay to let someone hurt you, it is never okay to hurt someone, and above all we are human beings that have the right to love and be loved.
Upon the first meeting, when that beautiful man comes up and starts talking to you, it is very important to do the following:
-Always give your name last.
-Make all answers short, yeah, no, etc.
-Look around as if you don’t care, be nice but not too interested.
-If he asks where your boyfriend is, which he will always ask, you say you don’t really believe in relationships or that you don’t date a lot because you have yet to meet a real man.
- He will always try to get your number, so leave before he can ask (don’t worry he will find you on facebook)
-Leave a good impression; it is always awesome to be an individual!
So if you are attempting to do this at home please note to be careful, this project is not for the faint of heart. His charm can easily get to you and if he does get to you then you are in serious trouble. Keep an eye out to make sure he really is a douche bag; you wouldn’t want to do this to some innocent nice guy that wants to fall in love. It is always better to fall in love and find a nice guy then to destroy a man.