Monday, February 8, 2010

Day Twelve.

Day 12: Sorry for not keeping up on my blog lately I have been sick with the flu.

When it comes to relationships and better yet destroying a man there always seems to be the “giving in” moments. This is when you give into this douche bag by stripping away the outer appearance to find if he really is a human being. He will break down his very sturdy wall just for a moment, letting you look into his soul. This is the moment you know you have him and your false guard will slightly move to let him believe that he has you also. The feeling of security is very important when it comes to relationships, John recently told me his sappy story of his parent’s divorce and how badly he believes that this moment has affected his ability to love and be vulnerable, it was within those few words my heart sank a little bit. In life are we all searching for the same thing, just using different roads to get there? Maybe being vulnerable has become another road in finding the one, you look and you abuse but it takes that very special person to open up to. When douche bags find this girl who has “broken them” they will fall deeper in love then the normal guy would. This is because they have been so afraid of being vulnerable that when they find that one person who they may open up to they have a deeper fear of heartbreak and humiliation. His fear of being vulnerable and opening up to another human being is sickening and I myself can’t understand where a fear like this could come from. When has being vulnerable become almost as difficult as getting a Birkin bag, and is it really us or has our society created us into a monster that hides all day long only to come out in the dark? Recently a good friend of mine told me that when men are all over her she cannot reciprocate the feeling. Was this just her or has going through life and seeing and experiencing all these failed love stories created her to become numb to love. Loving someone is all about “feelings” but has these feelings become our worst enemy and if everything is based on feelings could they run out until we are left with no more. When someone is hungry it is simple: go to the kitchen and get some food and that has fixed your problem. What is it that we need to make ourselves full of feelings again? Do we need that one person to be vulnerable to and if we find this person how do we know that it is right? You may never know and you may get full of feelings only to get drained again, but perhaps, we have to take those risks to separate us as humans from the animal species. It might not be the case that you must have feelings for someone romantically to develop a tender heart again, but maybe just caring in general will give us that nice full feeling all over again.

Day Eleven.

Day 11.
Pet names irk me. This is a douche bags favorite thing, calling baby, babe, honey or all the above indicates one of two things when it comes to men. One: he is emotionally immature and is still in a high school mindset that he must call you these names to prove ownership over you. Two: He is a stage 5 douche bag; yes he is afraid he might call you another girl’s name! Oddly enough, girls find hearing these things so adorable! It is not adorable but kind of gross, like the ting tings once said”that is not my name”! So have a: don’t call me that attitude and walk away, recently I met another guy and he texted me saying “hey baby” it was those two little words that ruined our relationship potential for me. I never responded and the double texts poured in, yes they love when you don’t respond! So baby names are a no go, if a girl were to call a guy baby before a committed relationship then she will be dubbed the name crazy or psycho girl however as women we seem too fond over being called these names. Maybe taking the guy approach and realizing that when a guy is calling you babe or baby before you have agreed to a relationship, something is defiantly not right. So instead of finding this odd name changer cute or adorable maybe we should take a step back and wonder… is this normal? Maybe this guy has become accustomed to using pet names but you haven’t, your parents named you a certain name, and that’s what you want to be called. You don’t want him feeling like he has you before he really “has you” and you want him to remember you (insert name) not just another “baby”.

Day Ten.

Day 10:
My very good friend has a major crush on a guy, she texts him nonstop, calls him and will go above and beyond for him. This is not good; she recently came over to my house all bummed out because it seemed like she was putting in all the work and he really didn’t care. I told her simple rules that I live by, first change his name in your phone to “no text” and don’t text him, within a week he will wonder what is wrong and text you wanting to see you. Rule two is even more simple, don’t do anything, he will put in the effort to win you, never text first, never make the first move, and don’t give too much of your time to him. Rule three; you don’t care where this goes! You have confidence enough in yourself to know that with or without him you will be okay, there are tons of fish in the sea! Why has being uncaring become the new love sonnets that are to be read over and over again to get the one you want? Recently the roles seemed to reverse and now women have woman been giving all the effort, with the romantic gestures and kind words. Men have found words to describe these new age girls: boring and clingy. This is the last thing you want to be remembered as; because once they think you like them more than they like you it will end the relationship. After meeting a guy and using a few little rules you will be shocked at how easy this relationship came about, it seems that our generation loves the abuse and that’s why men end up falling for the “mean” girl rather than the girl who would do anything for their man. Abuse can go far with love, if you give them just a little they will love it a lot. Within these moments of abuse you will find that they have become the guy of your dreams, giving you everything your heart desires. Although it is sad and I don’t know if I agree that we should be mean, this method does work. My good friend got a text from her crush less then a week later with words of kindness and admiration, he said he missed her and wanted to hang out. So abuse a little and see his reaction, follow these simple rules and I can almost guarantee that he will be serenading you soon.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Day Nine.

Day 9
When trying to destroy a man it is very important to ignore and act as if you do not want him around, however finding a commonality between you and this douche is a necessity in reeling him in. The best place to talk about what you have “in common” is not done over the phone or by text message; this should be done on the first date. This is not only to show that you are a breathing human being but that you can show a common bond that will trap him in. See douche bags have certain rules about the first date, they will mostly talk about themselves so that they will in no way bond with you, they will act in a proper manner, (pulling your chair out, picking up the bill, and they might even pick up the victim card) they will always try to seal a kiss by the end of the date and if douchy enough will try for more. It is okay for this guy to pay the bill and pull out your chair but do not let them get the first kiss and above all do not let them talk only about themselves. When they talk about themselves they put the reel out there hoping you will bite onto whatever they are trying to make you believe, so when they are very interested about a topic let this be your favorite as well giving an in depth first hand story all about it. As stalkerish as this may sound, a good agent always does a little research on their next hit. So you may hear a friend of this man say something that your target may like or you may see his status change with a movie he may have recently enjoyed or a subject that has been bothering him. You can use this to your advantage, if you “unexpectedly” bring up something that he has been thinking of and has recently tweeted about then he will believe that you genuinely have similar commonalities verses agreeing with everything he is saying. When he believes that the two of you have so much in common he may mistake this as fate, just as so many of us younger people do. He will believe that it is almost impossible that he could have things in common with just another fling and you may have potential for more. In our generation fate has become such a big part of life, everything from getting jobs, going to school, and of course love is all due to destiny. It is important that you make him believe that it was by chance and fate that the two of you met, with a memorable meeting and so many commonalties, how could it not be… Right? This is wrong most of the time, and as Negative Nancy as this may sound, this is just setting ourselves up for a worse heart ache if the relationship doesn’t last. If you break up with someone you believed fate had brought you, then you are more likely to be hurt, your imagination gets filled with fairy tale like fantasies that did not get the happily ever after ending. It is very important to guard your heart and only let the fairy tale seem real when you have gained a man’s trust and this takes time. So when destroying a douche bag, remember this, set him up for the fairy tale as if you are his princess even though in reality you are his arch nemesis. Make sure you do your research so you know what to talk about and never give him that first date good bye kiss instead lead him on just letting his thoughts get away with him. After I went on that first date with John, I have become a Jets fan, I love Starwars, and I to enjoy going to the beach ever weekend. Although none of this is true he has fallen a little more for me and has already attempted at hanging out again. Now ladies just make sure only to do research when destroying a douche, if you are genuinely looking for love, it is best to see if you truly have similar commonalities.

Day Eight.

Day 8:
For a long time I have heard it said that we as women always tend to play the victim role. However, when dating a man regardless of being a douche bag or not the old sore subject about the ex always seems to come up. Yes we know she cheated on you! We most likely won’t but since it seems as if it thrills you then maybe I should. Now regular guys will not take this too much to heart but rather will still put their heart out there ready to take a chance, douche bags however will create a wall that will be structured never to come down. Unfortunately this man built this wall at a very young age, since his girlfriend who horribly tore his heart into shreds without any thought was most likely a high school affair it seems reckless to let this affect him in such a terrible way that every girl he comes across must hear of the story of the woman who killed a wonderful man. When being so young and still developing you’re mental self it is very dangerous to get head over heels in love, this will leave you with doubt of who you are and who you should become. My very best friend has been with the same man since she was fifteen; she is now twenty and very upset with her life. Now she plays victim to every minor mistake that her boyfriend does, she doesn’t socially understand how to be single or who she really is without him. This makes me wonder, if douche bag guys get into serious relationships so young and getting hurt in the process, could it be possible that they ever were a good guy? And is this persona of being a jerk, just a cover up to protect them from feeling yet another broken heart? When a man loves a woman and the woman loves him back all is good, you feel at peace with yourself and the world, but when that is stripped away and that crutch is gone, why is it that douche lords seem to never learn to walk properly on their own? Womanizing has become a new crutch for these types of men, they go around using and abusing woman so that they can steer clear of getting hurt themselves. When destroying a douche bag it is imperative to make sure you act as if you care and relate to the story but never talk about what a guy has done to you, just say you relate. Never let it seem like a big deal that this horrible break up happened to him, make sure he realizes that everyone goes through this; now his plan on being the victim cannot go through. Eventually you are allowed to share more personal stories but this is only for a later date so he can feel as if he can trust you, right now you do not want to seem as the overly emotional girl. Believe me it is very important that when the “ex” subject comes up that you make it clear that this is why you do not just get into relationships with everyone you meet, rather you prefer to stay single until you met that “real man” who doesn’t play childhood games. This will attract them because they know that if and when they win you it will be because you think of them highly and that you were not an easy win. So ladies don’t let yourself act as a victim because guys are tired of it and don’t let douche bags put their victim story on you either, this is all just party of their plan.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Day Six and Seven.

Day 6 and 7.

You’re at the grocery store and the guy that you have been crushing on is there, he approaches you and starts a quick conversation, this leaves you with a rush of butterflies that take over your stomach. Eventually you and Mr. Wonderful get into a relationship and every time he calls you or sends you a text those butterflies seem to come back. After some time, you seem to lose those butterflies, yes you think you love him but that rush seemed to fade and this leaves you wondering if you should break up with him or not. It’s sad to think that we base our relationships on the feeling of butterflies for the most part butterflies are misread and all this feeling is, is anxiety. In relationships it is as if we need anxiety to make the affair last, so when destroying a man make him anxious. Don’t text him back right away, you will see double texts and maybe even the annoying call just send them a text the next day and say you were too busy to respond. When he asks you what you did last night respond with very little information and let his imagination do the rest, yes will make him nearly have an anxiety attack. When John asked me to go out with him for a second time I said I had plans with someone, that’s all I said, I received non stopped texts all evening as if he was really concerned that I had found yet another douche bag to destroy. A man will fall in love with you quicker and easier if you keep them on their toes, it’s not hard just keep ignoring them and show little interest (remember you are being a douche baguette!)
A good friend of mine recently broke up with her boyfriend because like most douche lords, he didn’t give her enough attention and cared about other things, eventually she gave up and left him. Every time he calls her, she now ignores him. He has been nonstop begging her to get back with him, she of course says she doesn’t care about him and this seems to make him want her so much more. All the time that he didn’t have for her before is now getting spent with him blowing up her phone and facebook stalking her. He is mistaking his anxiety for love and letting that false rush from not getting what he wants; drive him crazy as if he is madly in love. So when destroying a man and trying to get them to fall for you, remember that anxiety and love is easily mistaken, so make sure you keep those butterflies flying!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Day Five.

Day 5.
For many years we have heard the old stories of the woman who needed a knight and shining armor, now as much as independence is a wonderful thing there is a time to be the “damsel in distress.” Being an independent woman is very vital in getting a relationship going, you don’t need him, you can live without him, but uh oh your car won’t start. This is where he will be like a hero, much like Superman or any of his childhood fantasies and you are his Lois Lane. Lois Lane was a very independent woman, a reporter, eventually a mother and a girl who always seemed to fall into a helpless situation. Superman always came to her rescue and they lived happily ever after, well until the next comic book. Men although they love the independent woman, need their masculinity proved from time to time by helping out a girl. This will make them feel closer to you, not only physically but they will feel as if you have an unspoken bond that will always make you think of them as the “good guy” even after they royally screw up. Although I am writing this in day five, it is to prepare you to play the damsel in distress nearing the big destruction moment, he will believe that he has you wrapped around his finger and you will always owe him and never break up with him. This of course will end up untrue, and less than ten days after he helps you out, you will crush him. Now it seems a little harsh to say that after someone helps you that you can crush them, but this is their game to. They will treat you well until they get the gold pot at the end of “your rainbow”. The best way to see if someone is a douche bag versus a nice super hero like guy is by asking girls, yes their buddies will without a doubt stick up for them, but we as women will not and should not lie to each other. So Lois Lanes of this world there is a time and place for being the damsel in distress, yes you are independent doing your own thing but in reality men need to be Superman from time to time. Never let this be routine, never be clingy, but it is okay to let a man save you from Lex Luthor when needed. It is great and highly wanted to be independent, it is okay to ask for help, but too much of either of these will end up being his kryptonite.